Fighting Temptations

    Last weekend, I experienced the Animal Kingdom in its most primitive form. My location:  The Clothes Show Live, NEC Birmingham. On entering the building, I was met by a copiousness amount of crazed females. Young, old, and fashion-conscious; all of them glowing. Then I realised the reason why. Each one of them, on average, was loaded up with at least 6 generously-sized bags. Envious of the joy that was emanating from these women, I made it my mission to purchase me some hard-core Happiness, at whatever cost. So, I continued on, wading through the female figures until I reached the arena.

   What I encountered, however, was not the fashion haven that I was expecting. I had misread all of the signs of what led me to believe was a harmonic shared experience for females alike. Instead, I had entered a hunting zone; kill or be killed. I saw vultures, circling the stalls, patiently waiting to scavenge whatever they could. I saw the cattiest of cats displaying their razor-sharp claws in warning to the other cats. I saw tarantulas, spinning the most intricate of webs, determined to trap the most innocent. These were not happy females on a shopping trip. They were predators, portraying animalistic qualities associated with survival: hunting, trapping, and killing. Everybody wanted the best bargains. Everybody wanted to get their hands on something unique.  But most of all, everybody wanted to prove to themselves that this was making them happy, because this is what women should be doing.

   And all of this in a day’s work. A Sunday. A day dedicated to lie-ins and roast dinners. But these women had completely eradicated this preconception and showed no signs of stopping, even though they were struggling to fight through their self-inflicted pain. Yet, I had to admire their determination.  Each woman was committed to making this ordeal worthwhile. It’s a dog eat dog world out there and they had all risen to the challenge. Unfortunately, I didn’t. I couldn’t focus. My heart wasn’t in it and so, I chose to abort. Don’t get me wrong, I love clothes and fashion and shopping as much as the next girl, but not to my own detriment. Still, it was an experience, and experience is what makes us who we are. 

Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be... Little Red Riding Hood

   There are two kinds of world that we can live in if we so choose: the physical or the imaginary. Sometimes, we want to live our lives as they appear around us. We want to ‘do’. Other times, we want to consciously create a different life scenario, in which we want to ‘think’. But when these boundaries collide, we are left believing that something real is, in fact, something else. Imaginations are extraordinary concepts. As a young girl, I honestly believed I was a mermaid. I re-enacted the memorable ‘splash-on-the-big-rock’ scene from The Little Mermaid during every bath time (never without the accompanying reprise of ‘Part of that World’, may I add).

   Today was another one of those days: a day when you go about your day as Normal You but the surrounding areas appear to feel somewhat different, transporting you to a Whole New World (cue Jasmine and Aladdin). While taking my usual route to Uni, I felt like I was no longer Rosie Heather Roman. I was no longer just another student in just another student town. I was indeed, Little Red Riding Hood and my mission: Operation Grandma’s.

   I accepted my mission immediately and continued with my journey. I had reached an alleyway. It was the same alleyway that I have walked through every day for 4 months, but it was no longer just an alleyway. It was a forest. It was an obstacle. The way the leaves crunched beneath my feet, the way the mist had settled between the walls and how this felt around me convinced me of my new found fictional character status. And at that point, I became the perfect Little Red Riding Hood archetype, swinging my bag of Uni books at my side.

  Yet, I never reached Grandma’s and my role as Little Red Riding Hood was short-lived. The spell had been broken. The early morning rush hour traffic that signalled the end of the alleyway was also my cue to leave the Little Red Riding Hood persona behind. I was now back in the real world and on my way to my 9am seminar. I was Rosie Heather Roman. I was just another student. And the alleyway was once again, just another alleyway.

   But I was not convinced. It made me realise how influential the imagination is. Still, as an adult, I can be dreamily swept away into the depths of my own thoughts, regardless of the physical world around me. I realised that I can be whoever I want to be, whenever I want to be them. I can create. So, I am not just another student. I am a million ideas waiting for the perfect opportunity.

The Festive Dress Dilemma

   The festive season is slowly approaching and the partying will soon be at its peak. And of course, the question on every girl’s lips is: what shall I wear? Yes, this is a sweeping statement that we females quote at least 9 times a week, but this time: it’s serious. Disregard everything that is in your Autumn/Winter collection 2012 because for this prolonged occasion, it will not cut it. One dress will not fit all.

   So, where should you start? First of all: the ‘Office Do’. Unless you have your eye on the Office Hottie, leave your teasing temptress look at home. This is not the place to allow your pulling prowess (i.e tits and arse) to parade in front of your boss. Not cool. In fact, never cool. ‘Less’ is by no means ‘more’. Think sophisticated. Think intellectual. Think subtly sexy and you will be a flourishing flower among a bed of weeds. However, the most important thing is to let your personality shine. So, embrace geek chic but with that certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ and you will be on your way to Office Party Fashionista in no time.

   We swiftly move to ‘Christmas Day’. The only day in the calendar year that it is acceptable to eat quadruple your body weight in food. However, this does not come without a cost. The biggest offender: an expanding waistline. Today is the only day that it is prohibited to wear anything figure-hugging or indeed, anything that resembles a waist belt.  It will be detrimental to you and you only. In preparation for the gluttony, comfort is key. Think cute. Think practical. Think Christmassy! After all, it is a time for family and loved ones, who you will never need to impress with your outer beauty (of course, they all know it’s there). Therefore, dig out your most outrageous Christmas jumper and commence the festivities!

   Finally, the last day of the year. The last party of the year. The last memory of the year: ‘New Year’s Eve’.  And what are your plans? The glamorous You has been invited to the swankiest of parties that will require your outfit to be more than just a Topshop spesh. You start to panic, but worry not. This will work to your advantage. Avoiding the high street will ensure that you avoid the embarrassment of wearing the same dress as Unknown Girl 1. You need to think outside the box. Think fireworks. Think dazzling. Think… WOW. Tonight, the sky's the limit, so go for it. Customise a signature classic. The world is your oyster; go wild. You can never be overdressed for New Year's Eve. Fact. Thus, embrace anything that glitters and sparkle on into 2013!